Blah Today

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I am so blah today. Well, maybe not just today, but for a little while now.
This time of year always does that to me. It is very "wintry" outside to say the least. I hate being kept indoors.

Not only am I blah about being stuck inside, but I am stressed about the holidays as usual. I never feel like I am done shopping. It feels so much like a chore sometimes. The real meaning behind the holidays gets lost within all the nonsense. Why can't we all just get together and enjoy being with one another as opposed to getting together to enjoy material gifts?

I'm also blah because I am bored. Not being able to go outside cuts me off from the majority of my favorite things to do. Of course, I still have reading and writing and monster making and blogging and music. Shouldn't that be enough? It sounds like it should be.

I like to do too many things at once. I never keep with one hobby long enough. I love to read but haven't read a whole book for probably six months now. Time never seems to allow it. Or I am too tired.

I love to write. I used to write poetry all the time (maybe I'll post some here) and keep journals. I used to write at least once a day. I had an incident years ago where someone I trusted read my journals. I was upset. Not because of what was read but because it was supposed to be private. He later used my journal entries against me when he would pick fights with me. He would use my own thoughts against me as if I had done something wrong. Fucking asshole.

I like making monsters. I have actually been doing that quite a bit lately. I am gaining quite the horde of the little suckers. I am in the process of making one for a lady I work with. I hope she likes it.

Then there is blogging. I'm not on as much as I should be. I can still keep this blog going. I am having a difficult time with my other blog since it is primarily about geocaching. Wisconsin winters are making my geocaching somewhat complicated.

Then there is music. I love it. I couldn't survive without it. Thank god for iTunes! :)

Who knows, maybe I am just happy complaining right now. That is kind of what it feels like anyway.

Only two days left of work and then I am on vacation. Whoo Hoo! Hopefully I'll be out of my funk by then.


Linda S. Socha said...

Hey A
It is freezing cold here and the air looks fresh a bit toward i cycles....I can remember some Christmas celebrations that were not much to celebrate and today I think I can be ok about that...I am thinking of you. Your words are clearly said and they speak your truth and that is entirely good enough...

Anonymous said...

always a pleasure to meet another tortured soul....

~A~ said...

Hi Paul,

Likewise. I like your blog.
Thanks for stopping by.

Genevieve said...

I second- paulwchambers.

Keep writing, in fact, start a blog journal, anonymously if you need to- I've found that writing is soul stitching.