On A Brighter Note..

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I figured that since today is Thanksgiving I could lighten up a bit. Here are some of the things that I am Thankful for.

I am thankful for my parents. Though we did not get along well in my younger years, we are like old friends now. It is clear how much they love me now, and how much they loved me then, even if I did not want them to. I am so glad to have them in my life.

I am thankful for my sister. I have been severely judgmental of some of the choices she has made and the direction that those choices have taken her life. I should not be this way. She is probably doing the same thing to herself and I shouldn't be making her struggles any more difficult. We have become better friends lately and I am thankful for that. My sister also gave our family a little girl, my niece, whom happens to be another love in my life. My heart swells just thinking about her smiling face. I love watching her grow up.

I am thankful for my relationship. Though it has its moments at times like all relationships do, I can appreciate it more because of what I had to go through to get here. My prior relationships were all built on shaky foundations and big hopes and dreams that would never be realized. I can be myself in my relationship. Though this relationship has been going on for over two decades and in the past four years has bloomed into a loving relationship, I am just now building up the courage to fully realize myself. I find this fact to be amusing. I have grown up with my best friend who is now my boyfriend, and I still have a hard time totally expressing myself. I'm getting there.

I am thankful for my past experiences. Without them I do not know who I would be today. I made some poor decisions that deeply affected my well-being. I am thankful that I found strength within myself to remove myself from bad situations. The day I walked away may have been the most liberated I have ever felt in my life. I still remember how I felt. Thinking about it now makes me want to cry. I have never been more proud of myself than on that day. That day also happened to be the day when my parents showed me just how far they were willing to go to ensure my happiness. Whatever needed to be done would be. Thank you. I love you guys.

Lastly, I am thankful for nature. Sounds cheesy but being outside is the only real place that I feel really peaceful. I can go for a stroll or a hike, I can take a good book to the park, I can bring a blanket and gaze at far away galaxies. I can smell the impending storm and sleep heavily from the sound of the rain. I can catch a snowflake on my mitten, I can hear complete silence in the woods during the snowfall, I can ski or make snow angels. I can splash in puddles in April, I can smell the Tulips outside my window, I can fear the hail. I can breathe the crisp Autumn air, I can see vibrant displays of color in the trees, I can feel everything beginning anew. I love the outdoors.

Hairy People..

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Over the past few years I have become very cynical. It was recently that I realized just how bad I have become.
I honestly have a hard time believing that there are genuine people left in the world. I know that making a generalization like that is not fair. Unfortunately, the career that I am in showcases the worst things about people. I see the bad things all day long.
It amazes me on a daily basis just how self-centered and unbelievably rude people can be. Everyday I listen to complaining and whining. I listen to people berate my coworkers. Profanity is usually also included, free of charge.
The part that makes it unbelievable to me is that these people act the way that they do out of pure selfishness. It really is an ugly thing. It's all about me, me, me, me, me, me, and me.
Nothing is ever good enough. EVER.
Speaking of whining and complaining, that's what I am doing now. No different I suppose. Except for the fact that I am not ruining someones day.
Hey, if you don't like what you are reading, close it out.

Anyway, what got me to this point was my new haircut. Nothing too fancy or too flashy. I like to keep my hair long. I kind of look like a boy with short hair. Not my thing.
So my new haircut literally consisted of a trim and (gasp) bangs! I know, bangs. What the hell? I haven't had bangs in probably 15 years or so, why not change it up a little bit?
It has taken me a bit of time to adjust to it, since I still don't recognize myself in the mirror. I look younger. Much younger. It's frickin awesome.
This is where I get to my complaining about people. People that I see often have quite the reaction to this haircut. They either A) Love it, or B) Hate it, but don't have the balls to say so.
What the hell is that?! When did it become so difficult to just say what you mean? Don't give some weird-ass look and then wonder why it is that I am giving you one right back. If you like it, thanks. If not, hey, you're entitled to your opinion.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT. I did it for me, not you. If you don't like the way I look then turn your head.
Thanks, have a nice day.