Thursday, November 27, 2008
I figured that since today is Thanksgiving I could lighten up a bit. Here are some of the things that I am Thankful for.
I am thankful for my parents. Though we did not get along well in my younger years, we are like old friends now. It is clear how much they love me now, and how much they loved me then, even if I did not want them to. I am so glad to have them in my life.
I am thankful for my sister. I have been severely judgmental of some of the choices she has made and the direction that those choices have taken her life. I should not be this way. She is probably doing the same thing to herself and I shouldn't be making her struggles any more difficult. We have become better friends lately and I am thankful for that. My sister also gave our family a little girl, my niece, whom happens to be another love in my life. My heart swells just thinking about her smiling face. I love watching her grow up.
I am thankful for my relationship. Though it has its moments at times like all relationships do, I can appreciate it more because of what I had to go through to get here. My prior relationships were all built on shaky foundations and big hopes and dreams that would never be realized. I can be myself in my relationship. Though this relationship has been going on for over two decades and in the past four years has bloomed into a loving relationship, I am just now building up the courage to fully realize myself. I find this fact to be amusing. I have grown up with my best friend who is now my boyfriend, and I still have a hard time totally expressing myself. I'm getting there.
I am thankful for my past experiences. Without them I do not know who I would be today. I made some poor decisions that deeply affected my well-being. I am thankful that I found strength within myself to remove myself from bad situations. The day I walked away may have been the most liberated I have ever felt in my life. I still remember how I felt. Thinking about it now makes me want to cry. I have never been more proud of myself than on that day. That day also happened to be the day when my parents showed me just how far they were willing to go to ensure my happiness. Whatever needed to be done would be. Thank you. I love you guys.
Lastly, I am thankful for nature. Sounds cheesy but being outside is the only real place that I feel really peaceful. I can go for a stroll or a hike, I can take a good book to the park, I can bring a blanket and gaze at far away galaxies. I can smell the impending storm and sleep heavily from the sound of the rain. I can catch a snowflake on my mitten, I can hear complete silence in the woods during the snowfall, I can ski or make snow angels. I can splash in puddles in April, I can smell the Tulips outside my window, I can fear the hail. I can breathe the crisp Autumn air, I can see vibrant displays of color in the trees, I can feel everything beginning anew. I love the outdoors.