Monday, April 27, 2009
So, waited for a whole agonizing month to get to the doctor to find out what was wrong with me. The day finally arrived. I went in and had my biopsy done and had to wait another agonizing week to get the biopsy results back. The results, not malignant. YAY!
The bad news, it's not malignant, yet. :( Such a bummer. It is good news that I don't have to worry about it right now, but somewhere down the line I might have to. My doctor said that since it was caught early it will be easier to monitor and keep an eye on. I have to go in every three to six months to have a biopsy done. Doc told me not to worry.
How can I not worry when I have to go in every few months to make sure that it hasn't turned on me? Seems like a silly request. But, he is the expert here not me, so I am going to do my best to not let this put a damper on my life.
I can't believe that I am actually going to say this, but this has almost been a good experience for me. What I mean is, this whole thing has really made me appreciate even more the life that I have. All the things that I want to do feel so much more obtainable to me now because I feel like I owe it to myself to be the best me I can, while I can. I think the expression is: live like you were dying. I know it sounds a bit macabre, but this scare has lit a fire in me. I'm already thinking about moving and making a career change. I am feeling giddy and excited like I am embarking on a new adventure. I can't explain it.
All I know is that I want to change everything that I am unhappy with in my life right now. I'm looking forward to the future so much right now even though the light on the horizon is dim. The closer I get, the brighter it will become.
I really feel like this whole event has been some sort of major turning point for me. I guess I'll have to wait and see.....